My Time in the Clubhouse.

(okay.. So.. It’s better late than never, I guess. Here‘s the mystery revealed on how I spent my 29th birthday.)

So, it was kept a big secret by my friend Dan who still keeps in touch with some of his other radio broadcast partners and wanted to do something nice for me for my birthday. I wasn’t told any details other than to bring with me to State College, PA my broadcasting equipment and a shirt and tie. It was an interesting set-up because Dan has admitted to me that he was brand new at planning events for his friends’ birthdays.

I was still left in suspense one more day as I racked my brain trying to decipher the riddle of my birthday gift. Were we to go to a secret job interview? Was I going to make a day trip to Toronto to see the last Penguins game of the year? Did he somehow score a double-date for me? With each scenario, I tried to follow the clues as to what might be up my friend’s sleeve.

Wednesday morning came and I was a year older. 29 isn’t exactly a milestone year, but hey - I made it this far. I am unusually chipper and upbeat on my birthday no matter what. It’s my philosophy that I want all my close friends and family to be happy along with me on this particular day. So, making it big was all I could ever want.

I got dressed and even got into my car with still no knowledge of just where I would be going. Dan handed me the little envelope that he had been keeping and inside was 2 tickets to the Pittsburgh Pirates with press laminates waiting for us at PNC Park. It was certainly shaping up to be a birthday to remember.

The adventure driving to the ballpark was interesting. I rarely drive on the north side of Pittsburgh and I will only do so if I’m forced. I relied on my friend Dan’s recollection of the city and supplemented it with my own sense of remembering familiar landmarks and street signs.

On the way there, we joked and laughed by making up so many ridiculous questions that I could pose to the Pittsburgh Pirates. I guess I was just combating my nerves as it was certainly going to take all of my natural broadcaster instincts and inquiring mind. The Pirates weren’t doing well in the season. Silly questions like “Why do you guys suck so bad?” and “So, Jason Bay, I hear you‘re Canadian. What‘s that like?” were certainly going to angle my way out the door faster than I can say “home run.“ Dan and I agreed on one thing, this might be our first time reporting in the big leagues from PNC Park, but we had to be really guarded not to look like a real couple of “noobs”.

We walked up to the grand carousel entrance and my “media case” was inspected before I went through the turnstile. Dan and I had the tickets, but we needed to find how to get in to the media section of the ballpark. Our beginner’s luck ended there when an usher told us to go back outside the stadium and walk down past the ticket windows and find the press door . Okay, that was embarrassing.

Then at the media door, we were greeted by a press liaison who again felt it necessary to inspect my black bag that I carry all of my broadcasting equipment in. I think it was safe. He then checked our names off the list and gave us the press laminates (or “lams” as we call ‘em in the business). Written in black marker was my name, the call letters of the station, the date that it was good for. But there were also rules of conduct on the card itself.

No Autographs. Damnit!

So, we first made our way up to the broadcast booth by way of the courtesy elevator. Then the whole world had unfolded before me. As a young man, I had always daydreamed and fanaticized about what it was going to be like. This was like going to Universal Studios to see how the magic was made. What made it worse was that there were all kinds of local celebrities just walking around. This Pittsburgh-born and bread was star struck at Greg Brown who briskly walked in front of me. Dan and I were invited to all the hand-outs and refreshments made available. Like a kid in a candy store, I pretty much grabbed everything I could get my hands on. Media guide inserts, charts, and a manual on how to get internet wireless access while I was in the PNC Park.
Then there was the issue of being star-struck. I knew I had to get over it quickly. I tried to talk to Dan, but with every glance, I recognized a local personality. I pointed out in the middle of my sentences, “Hey, there’s Steve Blass.” (He’s the TV/Radio commentator for the Pirates and has been for years.)

Dan and I took it all in. Looking down at the field and the open city skyline was a tremendous feeling. I had realized my dream, for that moment, to be a broadcaster in the city that I call home. Then, I made an oath to never give up trying to actualize my destiny.

We got in the elevator and took it back down so we could go to our seats in time for the actual game. I still had my media case with me stuffed with just about every recording device available, but I had overlooked one crucial thing. A writing utensil. Okay, so this was a learning experience too. I’ll not forget again.

The seats were right directly behind home plate. They were far back from the front, but it was still a good view of the action. Only bad thing was that the backstop screen was going to catch any foul ball that came our way. The Pirates were playing the St. Louis Cardinals. In the afternoon game, the Cardinals came ready to play. I have no answer as to why the Pirates struggle so badly, but missing key players to injury didn’t help much. The Pirates were no-hit through the 6th inning. The Pirates wound up losing the game 5-1. Dan and I continued to goof on the Pirates poor performance. Then we planned our way around to best ready ourselves for the post-game interviews.

We took the elevator back down to the Press Club level and waited in the press cafeteria for the game to wrap it’s final innings. Dan and I found the press conference room where the manager addresses the issues after the game. We were alone. Again, we took the opportunity to goof off and relieve some of the nervousness. Quick thinking, I jumped onto the manager’s platform and sat down in front of the microphone for a quick picture.

Jim Tracy was the disheveled and thoroughly defeated manager for the Pittsburgh Pirates. It’s his first year with the team, coming from the LA Dodgers. The only reason he got this job was that he grew up in western PA. I didn’t know much anything else about him. I was about to get a crash course in “MLB Press Conference 101”.

With my Sony Minidisk in hand, I found the side of the room that had the mult-box (an electronic device that allows many connections where the other reporters Minidisks were plugged in to so as to capture the audio from the same microphone that the manager was using.) I didn’t have the right kind of plug that would be able to work with the mult-box. Again, I was caught unprepared and the other local reporters all stared at me. They stared at me hard. I was told that I could just plant my Minidisk recorder and microphone up on the table with the writers.

So much for looking like I knew what the hell I was doing.

While Jim Tracy took questions from the assembled local reporters, he deliberately looked at each and every one in the room. Jim Tracy looked right at me. I was so impressed with that. By doing that, he made me feel that I was indeed a legitimate part of the press. I didn’t get to ask him any questions, but I still got some audio to be worth it.

Another local celebrity is Trenni Kusnerek. She works for the FOX Sports local affiliate here in Pittsburgh. Total hottie! I hoped that I would get a chance to meet and talk with her. Sure enough, she makes a grand appearance in the room. All the other sports guys, cameramen, and workers shouted for her attention. She must really be popular among her peers.

Next came the players in the clubhouse. I made my way over there with the pack of reporters. I wasn’t going to challenge them for the story today, but someday I knew I was going to be back to keep pace. Be warned, there’s going to be some really graphic behind the scenes encounters coming up.

The Pirates locker room is set up like an oval inside another oval. The office rooms looped around a hallway were the inside room was a bunch of wooden cubicles set up for each individual player. The press would set up in the middle. I took a quick trip around to familiarize myself with the surroundings - especially how to get out if needed.

The sobering moment that shocked me out of my star-struck mood was that the Pirates were all still getting out of the shower. Yes. They got dressed right in front of me. I didn’t actually watch anyone, but I never would have expected that this would happen. Dan shadowed me and relied on my recognition of which players to talk to. I didn’t have a game plan, I just followed the lemming reporters around. Surely, they knew what they were doing.

As if the uncomfortable situation of the Pirates changing all around me was enough, I had to see with my own two eyes Trenni standing in the locker room. There was a player just 10 yards away from her naked as a jaybird, but nobody seemed to care that there was a woman in the locker room. Probably nothing she hasn’t seen already before. Shocking! Is this what goes on in professional leagues all across America?

Jack Wilson walked by me pulling his luggage behind him. He didn’t play in the game.

I got to talk to one of the new Pirates Jeremy Burnitz. He looks so much bigger on TV. They all did. But now that I got up close, I was able to look him in the eye. I got to ask him about him playing in his 1,600 game on the idea that all athletes just love talking about themselves. He was nice to me. I got to talk to Pirates utility infielder Sanchez. I asked him about what he can do to stay in the lineup. All he did was give me a PC answer. Then, I moved on to pitcher Zach Duke. I had also heard the fact that it was his birthday too. He said that his teammates didn’t have any special plans for him, but they were probably all going to go out later that night.

After that was said, I told Dan that maybe this was going to be enough for one day’s experience and that we should quit while we were still ahead. We hit the road to go back to State College. It was a long 3 hour drive that was fueled by all the excitement I encountered.

Dan was impressed with me. He told me that I had composed myself professionally and showed him that was most certainly capable of adapting to the situation when I was thrown into it blindly unprepared. The next time I get press passes, I’ll be ready for one of the biggest and important events of the summer. The 2006 All-Star Game!